Monday, March 27, 2017

I'm Alive...I Think??

Hey all, I'm still here!

I mean, to all 2 of you who read this. (Hi Mom and Dad).

Anyway, life has been pretty busy with ups and downs. I started a new job which I love. I've been commuting by train and bus. Also I'm going to ballet almost every day and I've been expanding my social life. And I've been picking up Spanish and French again. All this in between keeping my 3.98 GPA and being Lead Intern. Whoooo buddy. Anyway, I'm also launching a new project which will be where I direct some of my more political or social opinion topics.

But that's for later!!

For now, I'm breathing....well trying too.


Friday, March 3, 2017

This is How I Lent

I’ve mentioned before that I was raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic school for pre-k through 12th grade.

In that time I had gone through the ebbs and flows of identifying as Catholic in today’s world. Outside of the almost normal questioning period of “But if God exists why does X, Y, Z horrible thing exist?”, I had to come to terms that I can still be a great Catholic and love God and the Church without adhering to some of the archaic teachings, specifically those around social issues such as Female Reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ Rights.

But that’s not the point of this post, though I do feel better clarifying it. 

I want to talk about my Lenten Journey this year. 

If you were out and about this past Wednesday, chances are you saw at least one or two people with a black smudge on their forehead. These smudges are actually ashes that are applied to the forehead of a Catholic on “Ash Wednesday”, which is the first day of a liturgical season of repentance and reflection that lead up to Holy Week and subsequentially, Easter. 

Some of the more common things known about Lent are that Catholics abstain from eating meat, such as pork, beef, and chicken, on Fridays. (Fun fact, this actually is more of a USA thing that was meant to support Irish fisherman in Boston who had a surplus of fish but were suffering economically) Also, you’ll hear that people are giving up something or other.

 Many people give up a certain vice or bad habit, such as drinking soda, eating fast food, social media sites…etc. Others choose to practice in other ways such as more charity work or non-profit support, dedicated prayer, exercising more….etc.

This year, I’m approaching Lent with a unique mindset. In the past few months I’ve really been learning what it means to practice “Self-Care”. Sure, sometimes it’s coddling yourself, but really, it’s taking steps to improve your life in the long run and really take care of current you and future you based on the lessons that past you experienced. 

But how does “self-care” fit into Lent when it’s a period of abstinence and reflection?

Well, to put it as best as I can, Lent is about becoming a better person by putting yourself through trials you know are going to challenge yourself and make you uncomfortable. And real “self-care” is uncomfortable. I’m doing things that are challenging my anxiety and lifestyle up to this point. Really. 

Some of these include:
  • Learning to say “No” and to gracefully back away
  • Realize when I’m overwhelming myself and then re-prioritize. 
  • Re-frame my financial goals and approach
  • Identify the individual marks on the world I want to make and plan for them.
  • Strategize my academic, career, and personal goals. 

Trust me, they’re more specific than these general statements, but publishing my personal budget tracker and pages in my journals and binders isn’t exactly my forte. I guess when Easter comes up I’ll reveal what individual things I accomplished and failed at during Lent.

What I can share is that I’m taking “fasting” more seriously this year. Fasting is more along the lines of “one substantial meal a day” and light snacking in between if necessary. With the consideration of ballet and hiking, I’m really going to try my best to stick with one substantial meal a day. I want to practice self-control and obedience. 

I’ve been finding myself consuming more food than my norm (well norm from the past year). Maybe it has to do with my increased activity or because I live in a popular food/restaurant area, maybe it’s my schedule and commuting….I’m really not sure, but I know that I can possibly pinpoint my trigger and work on taming it. 

Lent is an interesting time. Yes, there’s sorrow and subdued celebration, but there’s also self-discovery and challenges that lead to victories and new beginnings. Positive spin? yes. But I don’t think it’s a wrong way to look or approach it.


Do you practice Lent? If not, do you go through periods of abstinence or fasting?

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Break Up Blues: Miss my "Best Friend" over my "Boyfriend"




Yup....and I don't know how I'm surviving without him. I am surviving.....borderline thriving. But it feels so shallow.

Friday, February 17, 2017

And The Oscar Better Go To, but It’s Probably Going to Go to….


The tumultuous environment of politics and representation has its own playing field in Hollywood and this award season has seen one hell of a match. 

HFPA Favorite and surprise commercial sensation “La La Land”, the second musical masterpiece from newcomer Damien Chazelle (previously noted for his achievements with the musical psych drama “Whiplash”), is expected to make a historic sweep at the February 26th Award Ceremony. 

But it would seemingly be an insurmountable injustice for a film about two white privileged entertainers who save Jazz (a cultural music genre developed by African-Americans) while navigating and dancing through the hills and streets of Los Angeles (one of the most diverse cities in the country) to win over three intricately deep films of vitally important natures beyond just resurrecting an art in a large city. 

I’m talking about “Fences”, “Hidden Figures”, and “Moonlight”.

These films have been praised by independent critics and film festivals for their achievements in acting, writing, and production. Specifically, the acting in “Fences”, Viola Davis and Denzel Washington give the performances of their lifetimes in this film directed by the latter. Washington worked with the original stage play writer August Wilson to bring this film about a working-class sanitation worker, Troy Maxson, who feels distraught realizing that his time to become a major league baseball player has passed all due to segregation laws that banned African-Americans from playing when he was in his prime. Maxon’s toil, resentment, and anger bubbles to the surface and storms through his family bringing destruction and pain to all. Viola Davis plays Maxon’s wife, Rose, who does her best to support her husband and keep her family together, all at the expense of her husband’s selfish inner crisis, attempts to keep herself together but realizes she can’t just standby. 

These powerhouse individual performances not only show the dynamic strength of Davis and Denzel’s acting skill sets, but the stories the characters tell really bring to the screen a deeper more involved and almost so intensely intricate side to the stereotype of the angry black man and angry black woman. It’s a telling piece of film that deals with the reality of immediate post-segregation America and the effects of exploitation of people of color. 

“Moonlight” is truly a piece of art. Often films about a young black man attempting to explore his life and character take place in the inner cities of New York, Chicago, Detroit….or some notably urban big city, but “Moonlight” explores the culture of growing up black in the multicultural southeast city of Miami, known for it’s populous Latin demographic. What makes “Moonlight” so incredible is that it really centralizes on the character of “Chiron” and his struggle with identifying as queer at three critical stages of his life. He struggles with surviving in the poverty and drug-running outskirts of Miami, under pressure to avoid the accepted fate of drug dealing and becoming a violent and aggressive “no-life”, yet with a crack-abusing mother and a lack of support or social discussion, Chiron’s world is so convoluted and it’s heartwrenching to watch him try and wade the waters. Consistencies flow in and out of each chapter, though Chiron grows up drastically. I can’t even begin to describe how beautiful every aspect of this film is in writing, character development, cinematography, sound editing, acting (Oh Lordy I could go on and on for days about how wonderful Janelle Monae and Mahershala Ali are).

“Hidden Figures” was probably the most accessible film among the noted three. Most likely due to being supported by a larger studio and picked up on nationwide screens. The film was important in a similar context to “Fences” (i.e. post-segregation America limiting the opportunities/exposure of African-Americans). This film, about 3 black female statisticians who helped NASA with one of the first successful rocket launches, and how they were barely even acknowledged in history despite their vital contributions to the completion of the project. In my opinion, this film was truly a cast carried film. The individual performances were wonderful, but it was the onscreen dynamic of the entire cast that made this film magical and really drove home the message and importance of this film. 


Three important dramatic films about topics more important than privileged white folks who sing and tap dance around Los Angeles before everything working out in the end for them financially and career wise….the nostalgia of the production and throwback to the Ginger Rogers/Fred Astaire days while disguising itself as an ode to Los Angeles. But the thing is, as much as it’s a tribute to the City of Angels, it only represents such a small fraction of people here. Yes, it’s meant to inspire and bring joy. But honestly, I don’t believe it deserves the praise it's recieving as groundbreaking and life changing. 

In retrospect, the Ginger Rogers/Fred Astaire films that were hailed as classics were films that served as distraction techniques to the reality of the segregation and diversity that occurred outside the exact cinemas where these films played. And honestly, I think that’s what “La La Land” is doing. Not purposely, I don’t believe Damien Chazelle put this film together with that intention, but in a world where we’re going on our third year of the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite and the racial division in our own neighborhoods, it’s crucial that we give acclaim to the stories and turn the spotlight on people of color telling real stories that are woven into our everyday culture. Reaching for your dreams is awesome, and failing and succeeding and happy endings make us feel great. But people, young and old, need to see these stories. They need to see themselves represented going through trials and failing and succeeding. 

I say this as a woman of color who has the privilege of passing for white, or at least being racially ambiguous, I say this as a woman who had the privilege of growing up in a middle class household and has had the privilege of being able to access a private education and have exposure to various cultures and aspects of pop culture. Because of this, because of seeing myself and identities I explored myself through in digital media, I realize the importance of these projects getting the exposure and acclaim they deserve. 

My mind says that one of the white-led films, most likely “La La Land”, will sweep the Oscars, and my heart wants the others to win. But please, I implore you to see “Fences”, “Hidden Figures”, and “Moonlight”. I also ask that you seek out indie films that may have storylines about issues you see yourself conflicting with or possibly identifying with. Keep watching mainstream and popular beloved films. I know I will, but I also know that they are not the only media that tells stories and changes lives. I’ll stay aware and I’ll acknowledge all that is around me which divides my neighbors, my sisters. I think that’s what my point was here.